Love Hurts
by All-Kristanna
Summary: Kristoff and Anna are two of the cutest dorks you'll ever find. They are also both complete and utter clutzes. If either is going to be injured, it will probably be at the unwitting hands of the other.


It was cold. It was snowing. It was late November.

The first heavy snow of the year had brought the daily activities of the castle to a near stand-still. The grey pall which had covered Arendelle all day had encouraged twilight to arrive earlier than normal, and after struggling through their respective paperwork and correspondence, Anna and Kristoff had wandered their way back to their apartment. The hot tea Kristoff had brought up from the kitchen had been drunk and warmed them both, and the following hour had been spend with them curled up on top of the bed together, Anna on her right side, Kristoff on his left, like two cats having found the perfect blend of warmth and comfort with each other.

Despite a few years of living in the castle, Kristoff had yet to become accustomed to napping. It was, however, Anna's favorite pastime. She always accused him of being a warm, giant, stuffed bear, and told him that it was all his fault that she wanted to curl up against him and fall asleep.

Her rhythmic breathing often lulled Kristoff into a light doze, but he nearly always awoke before her, and to him that was the best part. He could just lay there and stare at her angelic face, corners of her mouth always curled up just slightly in a smile. When the clock would chime and he knew they had been napping long enough, he would usually stroke her hair or arm to wake her. He would know she was awake, because her breathing would change, but she would continue to lie there, enjoying the gentleness of his touch.

Today, though, Kristoff knew they were expected for dinner. It was already 6 o'clock, and if they were to be dressed and presentable for a meal at 7 with the visiting dignitary-of-the-week, she needed to be getting dressed.

"Anna?" Kristoff rumbled low.

No response.

"Anna?" he asked with a bit more urgency.

"No."

"Hey, sleepy-pants, we need to get up and dressed for dinner."

"No."

"Then you can tell your sister."

"Mean."

"I am not. Afraid is more like it."

Anna opened her eyes and scrunched her shoulders. "But you're so warm and cozy."

Kristoff groaned. "Not this again."

"Too bad, reindeer boy," Anna retorted as she began to try and snuggle deeper into his chest.

"Hey, that's Reindeer King, if you don't mind."

"Reindeer boy sounds hotter." Anna began to drag her hand up his thigh.

"Now, there's certainly no time for that."

Anna opened her eyes and looked up at him. His hair had fallen partially across his face.

Kristoff looked down at her. He knew that look. It was only a matter of moments before she tried to get him to agree to spend the next half-hour doing something other than getting ready. They had been here before. A quick moment of passion escalated into "let's see if we can go again right now," and they were so late to a function that Elsa snarked at them for months afterward. He wasn't going to have any of that this time.

 _Tickling_ , he thought. That should get her moving.

"Anna?"

"Hmmm?"

"I have a surprise for you!"

His eyes twinkled, Anna smiled.

And then it happened.

Anna reached up to brush the hair out of Kristoff's face. Kristoff lunged down to start rubbing his scruff on her neck and chest.

Unfortunately, it was Anna's hand that won.

And Kristoff's nose that lost.

The screams from the both of them were a perfect blend of surprise and pain.

As they sprung away from each other, Anna kept shouting "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Kristoff held his face in his hands, as tears welled up in his stinging eyes.

Then Anna screamed again.

Kristoff pulled his hand away from his face for a second, only to see more blood than he would have liked.

With his hand back against his face, Kristoff started quickly for the bathroom. "ICE!" came a muffled cry.

Anna flew out of the room, all the while apologizing and yelling for help from anyone within earshot.

Kristoff managed to get to the sink basin, and took his hands away from his face to see the damage. Sure enough, his eyes were bloodshot, there was a smattering of red drops on his shirt, and a fair presence of blood on his hand and face.

As the feeling started to come back, he realized that his upper lip and gum hurt, too. He poured water from the pitcher into the basin, and tried to wash up a bit. As he did so, he winced at the pain he felt from his mouth. A quick look in the mirror revealed that Anna's engagement ring had managed to do a bit of damage.

He stood there a while, holding a wet washcloth to his face. He had always assumed Anna would be the death of him. He was only hoping that more than a year of marriage would have passed before she did.

As the inevitable headache started to set in, he heard Anna come back into the bedroom.

"Kristoff? Where are you?"

A weaker voice than should have been responded. "Bathroom."

Round two.

Anna, making the turn into the bathroom at full speed met Kristoff, exiting said room at exactly the same time.

But this time it was Anna's turn to fly backward to the floor, limbs splaying in every direction, ice flying to every corner of the bedroom.

"Christ, Anna! Are you alright?"

Anna lied still on the floor, eyes blinking in shock.

Kristoff threw himself down to her side. "Seriously, are you alright?"

"Um, yeah… think so." She held the now empty bowl which had never left her grip up to Kristoff. "You wanted ice?"

"C'mon, let's get you up on the bed."

Anna dropped the bowl unceremoniously, and reached for Kristoff's hand. His crouched stance was his greatest mistake of the year. As he pulled Anna to her full height, she teetered forward, and the crown of her head made final contact with Kristoff's already bleeding, swollen nose.

Kristoff woke with what seemed like half the castle staff kneeling around him on the floor. They were all speaking in hushed tones. There was a decidedly cold compress across his face, and Anna was holding his hand, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Oh, Kristoff, you're awake! I'm so sorry. I'm SOOO sorry!"

"Whah happnd?"

"You, sir, took on the Princess of Arendelle, and lost," Kai said from his other side.

Kristoff turned his head, brows knit, wondering what exactly had happened. The splitting headache and pain in his face were clouding his memory.

"That's not fair, Kai!" Anna snipped.

"Begging your pardon, your highness, but we all know this isn't the first man you've knocked out." Kai was about as giggly as anyone had ever seen him.

So was most of the rest of the room.

Anna pursed her lips.

"Okay, everyone, please get back to the evening at hand. It looks like I'll be entertaining our guests alone."

Kristoff knew that voice, though he couldn't see her. Elsa was probably as mad as ever.

As the help slowly filed out of the room, Elsa walked around to be able to better see the two black eyes, fat lip, and swollen nose her sister had inflicted on her Master Ice Harvester.

"Mind telling me how this happened?"

Anna looked to the floor. "Well…"

"Nevermind," Elsa responded. "I can't imagine you two did this on purpose just to get out of a dinner engagement."

"Ewsa, I wub twying…"

"Kristoff, please. First, don't speak. It is physically painful to all of us. Second, I've met my sister. I can only imagine the series of incidents which landed you in this situation. Lucky for us, we can afford a physician."

Elsa's eyes sparkled, and a knowing, subtle smile was on her face when she looked at Anna.

"I'm sorry Elsa, really!" Anna protested.

"I know. I don't believe anyone would have done this on purpose," she chuckled. "Now, get into bed, keep him iced, and I'll have the cooks send up something soft for dinner."

"Thank you," Anna sighed.

Elsa finally couldn't hold in her laughter any more. "You two are going to kill each other, aren't you?"

"She's winnig." Kristoff tried to manage as much of a smile as he could.

"OK, get some rest. I'll check on you later." Elsa left the two of them on the floor.

"Kristoff, I'm so sorry."

"Don' worry aboud id."

"Here, let me help you into bed."

"NO!" Kristoff shouted louder than he should have. "I mean, I can handle it."

Anna sat back on her feet, and held her hands to her mouth as she watched her husband slowly struggle to get himself upright and to the bed.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Nah, I jus' need a few minutes."

Anna came around to the other side of the bed, and sat beside him. She reached out and stroked his arm, looking at him with a mixture of concern and sorrow.

"Hey, I have a question for you."

"Yeah?"

"I mean, this may not be the best time for something like this, but I was wondering what the surprise was that you said you had for me. Really, you don't need to do anything, and if you want to take it back, that's ok, but I wanted to make sure that I hadn't ruined any other plans, you know, because…"

"Anna!"

"…Yeah?"

"I was gonna tickle you."

Anna paused. A twinkle shone in her eye. "See what happened when you're mean to me?" She giggled.

Kristoff smiled. "Believe me, slugger, it'll be a while before I try to tickle you again without giving it a good, long thought first."

Anna snuggled back up against Kristoff's arm.

"You know, none of this would have happened if you just let me sleep up against you in the first place."

"You're absolutely right. Clearly this was all my fault."

Anna giggled again. "Clearly."

Kristoff reached over, held Anna's head still with his hand, and announced, "I'm going to kiss you on top of your head now. Hold still."


End file.
